Thank you, The Man

The Man gave me a job today. And am I excited! Between answering questions like “How did you deal with a situation that required you to complete a job quickly, but efficiently?” (thank you, BSing skills I acquired from high school) and driving myself to some shady, side-door Babcock Boulevard drug testing facility, the manager gave me some advice. Apparently cashiers for The Man get down on themselves since they are constantly rejected by customers who don’t want The Man’s credit card. I must not let this get to me, because it is a percentages game.

Well, The Man, you know what? I am ready. I am ready to peddle your plastic money cards. I am ready to arrange your big-deal merchandise in people’s carts “like a puzzle.” I am psychologically resilient. My sense of self-worth is not tied to my summer job. Thank you, The Man, for giving me this opportunity. You will not regret it.

However, my readers (am I to assume I have these? I don’t want to get ahead of myself, after all): keep an eye on me. I encourage you to monitor my posting for signs of decreased self-esteem that may be linked to dealing with rude customers and denied credit account pitches.

By the way, I have a Twitter account. So basically you now have all the tools you need to stalk me. If I start getting anonymous letters and phone calls at 2 am that go straight to the dial tone, I swear, I will make my twitterings private! You will no longer have the great honor of knowing what I’m doing all the time. This is your only warning.