John Edwards drops out

Here’s the truth – I have no opinion on the presidential race, election politics, politics in general. I was having a brief discussion earlier today with Joseph, wherein we agreed that politicians are completely insincere – I mean, really, who can pretend that they’re really “in it” for the public good?

That the realm of politics belongs almost solely to certain prestigious and/or wealthy families of this country, and that even on the most local level it’s a profession rather than a vocation: both these facts serve to alienate me completely from the entire process (oh, and the Electoral College; not really the image of a real democracy, you know). I hope it’s not because I’m an apathetic teenager, but I can’t pretend that I have much faith in the business of elections in the first place. Don’t get me wrong – don’t believe in not voting, it’s just that I can’t get really jazzed up about it. That’s why I registered as an independent voter. I care about specific issues, but not about specific candidates or specific parties.

Anyway, that Edwards business – interesting, I suppose. The Democratic nomination will end up going either to a woman or a minority, both exciting options insofar as one thinks that says something about our country. (But wait, I forgot Mike Gravel! Or do you agree with me that just the idea of a “President Gravel” begs for four years of bad late-night puns and worse political cartoons? Actually, a better question… have you even ever heard of Mike Gravel?)

Apollonia

Saint Apollonia was a martyr in Alexandria; she was tortured by having all her teeth ripped out or shattered. After that completely horrible ordeal, she was presented with either renouncing Christ or being burned alive – she chose to jump into the fire. Whoever decides which saint gets to be the patron of so-and-so had a pretty sick sense of humor – Apollonia is commonly shown holding her own teeth in pliers and is prayed to for tooth problems.

I was thinking about Apollonia when I went to the dentist today (because my suffering was completely comparable to ancient Roman torture). The dentist injected three shots of novocaine – I didn’t feel anything at all. In fact, I didn’t regain feeling in the lower leftmost fourth of my face until five hours later. Then I noticed that I had been chewing my tongue up since attempting to eat my dinner in half bites.

The worst part of “the dentist” is smelling your enamel burn as they shear down the sides of your filling (is that enamel, or whatever they make fillings out of?). I’m aware some people aren’t prone to cavities, such as G. Staltari, who achieved his first serious tooth decay during his freshman year at the University of the Holy Ghost. My brother, on the other hand, had TEN cavities a few months ago; he must have been trying for a record.

Introduction

So this is my new weblog.

Of course the first thing my steadily strengthening set of returning readers will want to know is how I chose such an awesome name for this Internet publication. Indubitably the catchiness of “Extra-Strength Schrenk” is astounding and is therefore completely typical of my propensity for being clever, but I must give credit where it is due: I consulted one of those automatic name maker things. This one was a band name generator.

This generator gave me some excellent selections to choose from. Here were the highlights:

• Schrenk Mango (I don’t like the saccharine implications here)
• Loony Schrenk and the Skintight Head (This sounds like a Neo-Nazi band)
• Flushing Schrenk and the Fiction (And this sounds too much like I’m circling the drain)
• Doped Rubber and the Rabbit (I wonder how they come up with the ones that don’t have “Schrenk” in the title? Doped rubber? What’s that, polymer infused with heroin?)
• Schrenk Potent and the Sound (This just doesn’t make any sense)
• Rubber Schrenk and the Fierce Pizza (Though I like the idea of fierce pizza being a part of this blog, but I’m not much for the rubber again)
• Dubious Schrenk (No)
• Elegant Counselor (Sounds like a bad Chinese translation of the Keirsey Temperaments)
• Heart Cheddar (Cholesterol?)
• Schrenk of the Prowling (This is too creepy)
• Extra-Strength Schrenk
• Schrenk of the Air (Indian nickname)
• Leopard of the Schrenk Crocodile (I’m really confused by this one)
• Eloquent Sleet (File this one with “Heart Cheddar”)
• Hallucination of the Flavored Schrenk (Hmm…)

Even though I ended up with “Extra-Strength Schrenk”, don’t be surprised if I rename this blog “Hallucination of the Flavored Schrenk” in about a week. It’s really been growing on me.